Husband battering was unheard of some years ago. This however is not to say that husband battering wasn’t happening, but that people knew how to hide the occurrence of such instances.
This status quo has however been changed given the recent media reports on men in certain parts of the country being victims of violence at the hands of people who the Bible considers to have been fashioned from “the rib of a man”.
I keep asking myself,
- “What triggers people who love each other, to hurt each other by leaving them with such scars?”.
- “What goes in the mind of spouse before instilling such magnitude of pain on the father/mother of their children?”
- “Where are the children when such violent incidences are being perpetuated?”
- “How are the children of such couples insulated from witnessing these battering?”
Why husband battering
While we may find it quite absurd for husband battering to take place in a patriarchal society, and even blame women who commit such acts. I think the society should take time to reflect on why this is the case
Let’s not be quick to blame women and even ostracize women from a certain community. We need to take time and assess whether the men in those homes have been fulfilling their God and societal given roles.
Husband battering: men to blame
Men who experience violence in my view should not in any way expect much sympathy from the society, especially in cases where they abdicate their roles as providers, care givers and protectors of their homes.
Please get me right.
I’m not supporting women battering their husbands.
All I want to stress is that, men should take an inward look upon themselves to find out if they are indeed fulfilling their responsibilities as husbands, fathers and companions to their families.
We have seen instances where men in some homes have left their wives to shoulder all the family expenses in addition to raising children on their own.
While this may seem not a big problem, it is, especially if this man doesn’t support the family and yet continues to place financial demands upon the spouse.
Why would any sober woman give in to demands of a man who doesn’t even leave a shilling at home, but comes drunk at night expecting to be served with beef on a daily basis?
Society and husband battering
We have over the years socialized violence by making people believe that disputes can only be resolved through violence.
This scenario has led to the emergence of an aggressive woman who has defied all societal expectations by using violence as a weapon, instead of dialogue
While this may seem a solution, in my view it’s only a temporary reprieve as it also makes our children who are the future of tomorrow pick up such violent behaviors
The society thus needs to rethink how we socialize our children to handle conflict.
This is the only way through which the occurrence of husband battering and other forms of violence can be brought to an end
What next: Husband battering
Much focus has been placed on modelling women to be good wives and mothers.
It is now time for the society to develop strategies of equipping men with knowledge and skill on how to be responsible not just in the office, but also in their families
This CANNOT be achieved by the maendeleo ya wanaume giving a RED CARD, but by various societal institutions reaching out to men with more constructive ways of raising health families
In closing, husband battering can only be eradicated if both men and women align themselves with God’s purpose for the marriage institution