Weddings: why the hullabaloo
A Wedding is the starting point for any marriage.
Marriage is biblically considered as a union between two persons, male and female. It also goes further to symbolize a union between two families.Marriages in most instances are officiated through wedding ceremonies- traditional or otherwise.
A question however remains on why the hullabaloo that goes with organizing a wedding?
Why the Hullabaloo when planing a wedding
Why do we do what we do before and during a wedding ceremony?
Wouldn’t is just be enough for people to visit the Attorney Generals’ chambers like Wambui and Mbugua?Or for a couple to buy a dress suit worth Shs.1500 from some of the malls around?One could even plan to have their wedding on a weekday when most of the folk are at work,so as to minimize on this hullabaloo.
Stages involved in planning for a wedding
This article seeks to shed light on the meaning behind some of the things we do or choose not do during this important phase in one’s life.
Before the wedding:
- Families get introduced.
The climax of this is when the groom-to-be through his parents and uncles visits the bride –to-be’s parents. The purpose of this visit in the African setting is to facilitate dowry price negotiations.
The man is expected to pay dowry to the girl’s family. The items given are dependent on the cultural practices. For example, for the Akamba community, one only needs to give 3 goats. Whereas for the Luhya community in Kenya, one can be asked for cattle, and cash. The numbers of cattle are also dependent on the ladies family socio-economic status and the girls’ level of education.
In the past the grooms’ family would contribute towards the bride price.
This trend has however changed today and some families no longer ask for bride price; while some bride’s to be help their fiancee to be in catering for these expenses.
During the wedding
There are certain events that happen or ought to happen. However the present generation has sought to modify these without paying attention to the meaning behind this.
The groom waits for the bride in church
This symbolizes the fact that man was created first. It also implies that the man is welcoming his bride into his community.
However, in some wedding ceremonies, the couple has defied this by walking into church for the wedding ceremony hand in hand.
This therefore leaves a question on who is welcoming who into whose family?
The bride walks down the isle accompanied by her parents or guardian.
This symbolizes that the bride is being handed over to the groom, as its now his responsibility to take care of the bride.
However, recently we have seen wedding where a couples seeks to do things differently. In that, the bride is walked down the isle by a friend or in some instances alone.
This leaves the question on who is handing over this bride?
White wedding gown
Where is it written that a gown MUST be WHITE in color?
White biblically symbolizes purity. It is therefore assumed that regardless on one’s past, whether a virgin or not; by wearing a white gown, one is basically assumes to convey a message that she is starting a new chapter in life on a clean slate.
This is however not the trend in recent times, and couples have modified the color of the wedding dress to fit into the wedding theme. Others have even gone for ivory gowns.
The debate on this is still unclear.
The groom unveils his bride
This biblically is symbolic of the church curtains that split into two when Christ died. The essence of this was to show believers that they now have access to the throne room, and they didn’t have to have a mediator.
So when a man unveils his wife-to-be during the wedding ceremony, this symbolizes that they both have direct access to each others life.
Couples getting married but are not accorded this opportunity by the priest officiating their marriage should question this.
Exchange of rings
This is a permanent reminder of the vows the couple exchange during the ceremony.
However, there are certain religious practices that do not allow a couple to exchange rings. This leaves us with a question on what do these couples use to seal their union.
In the recent past, we have seen married couples who not knowing the significance of wearing their rings remove them whenever they have conflicts .This just goes to show ignorance among many couples on why they need to wear rings, or why they even have then in the first place.
It is also not clear on what type of ring should be exchanged between couples.Should it be a plain wedding band or one that has a pendant?
Cutting of the cake
This is usually the epitome of the entire celebration. This is to signify the celebration over a meal by both families. Drinks are also shared during as part of this.
Biblically this could be taken to imply that the couple is taking their first holy communion together. Holy Communion is takes to commemorate what Christ did on the cross.
This being the case, one is left wondering what kind of drink should be used for in a wedding.
So next time to plan to support a friend/family in planning their wedding, take time to understand why people do things the way they do.
Those who offer counseling to couples also need to take time to explain these principles, for them to clearly understand all that goes into a wedding ceremony.
Have a wonderful marriage now that you understand this topic why all the hullabaloo that is associated in planning and executing a wedding.